January 31, 2010

Teflon Brain Syndrome! Do You Know Where I Put My Glasses? A Medical Mystery Solved!

Teflon Brain Syndrome!1 
Do You Know Where I Put My Glasses?2 
A Medical Mystery Solved!3

A group of teenagers were in the corner whispering and glancing in my direction. I knew I wasn't winning a popularity contest, but it also didn't look too serious. Eventually, the bravest one edged his way across the room.

Excuse me, we were kind of wondering if you always forget things because you are, er, just getting old or, um, kind of have Alzheimer's... or what?”

Funny kids. I smiled (I think I smiled-- did I?) and said, “No, I've always been this way, but I'm afraid It might get worse.” Ha, ha, ha. He didn't laugh.
Fifteen years passed... It got worse.
After consulting with a couple friends and looking intensely at the Internet, It suddenly dawned on me that I have Teflon Brain Syndrome (AKA No Stick Neuron Surfaces). I had never heard of anyone with TBS (NSNS), nor could I find it anywhere on the Internet, so I assumed it is extremely rare. 
Although I suspected that I perhaps had the only known case, I have since been amazed to discover that when I've explained the symptoms to others, a very large percentage believe that they also have this affliction. 
I'm now considering establishing a foundation to raise money to find a cure for this apparently widespread disease... or I could even start a Facebook fan page.
But then, would anyone remember to sign up?
Forgetfully yours,
... um
1 Teflon may be a protected trademark, but I don't remember. 
2 The photo is a reenactment of an actual incident, but we will not divulge the person's name to protect the guilty.  
3 Did I give any medical advice? Well, forget it.

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